Louis CK's Last Show in Alabama: A Fateful Night
by lullaby of violaine
Summary: Louis CK is currently on a national tour, and it's his last night in the rich and wholesome state of Alabama. Alabamians are a hard group to please, and Louis has a tough time delivering his act, especially considering that he has the dreamy club host on the brain instead of his material... What will happen? Only God knows.


It was the last night of Louis CK's comedy tour in Alabama. He had never been in such a deep part of the south before. Knowing his tendancy to crush on fine, southern gentlemen he entered the club reluctantly.  
As soon as he entered, he was swept away by a fine, older man with a mustache, smile lines, and the most piercing blue eyes he had ever seen gazing in to his very soul. The man hooked his arm around his back and held one of his hands with the hooked arm as he gently guided him to the backstage.  
Louis, barely keeping composure, introduced himself. "Hey, im Louis." "I know," the man said. "I've been a fan for years, and here I am, owner of the this club, and you're performing." Louie could hardly believe it. He usually doesn't go for fans but this one seemed special..  
Louis blushed very much, but tried to stay his casual self. "Oh, thank you." The gentleman kept smiling at him without saying anything as they were walking. He showed no sign of continuing, so Louis studdered out, "Ah... this is... a really nice place you've been holding up. You must do a lot of hard work to keep it running."  
"Yep. Twenty-one years, and not too many repairs have been needed. Knowing how good your shows are though, we might just need a new roof after this." He said winking. As they approached the stage, Louis tried to focus on his material. He doesn't want to offend these Alabamians too much.  
Stuck too much in his own head, he realized that he was tightly gripping the hand of the older man, and the man was too polite to wrest his hand out of Louis' clutches. They walked onto the stage in this compromising position until the fat one found himself at the microphone and staring into the eyes of two-hundred pairs of confused and angry eyes and wrinkled foreheads.  
"This is it, it all comes down this this. I've toured in every major city. Most people get my jokes but... dammit.. not even George Carlin would be prepared for this.." He took a deep breath "So... how many of you guys still own slaves?" They laughed lightly, but this would just be the tip of the iceberg for tonight.  
"Yeah, I had a few slaves once. They were real good-for-nothing fucks, to be honest. This one, he always... tried to pretend to work. So I just raped his wife instead." He had no idea where this was going. "Nine months later, she popped this gross mulatto baby out, and I whipped it 'till the boy bled for crying too much." He was still overwhelmed by the club owner's expression and enthralling smile, and the words just kept coming out as his visage was trapped in his head.  
Continuing his jokes in the same vein, he heard a car door outside shut and womens voices. Louis didn't think much of it until he saw the club owners expression. The club owner had forgot he hired a set of strippers to entertain the club, as he wasn't Louies last minute gig. They burst through the door, "Hey boys!" and as he expected, the attention of the wasted hicks turned to them. "No turning back now" The club owner thought.  
The club owner walked up onto the stage and behind him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get out of here, boy." Desperately wanting to leave and desperately wanting to become better acquainted with the mysterious man, he accepted what was happening and went outside past the whooping crowd and into the man's large truck.  
Louie, frantically trying to stike up conversation, was quickly interupted by the man. "You ever been cray fishin' boy?" "N-no sir." "Well, since I am your biggest fan 'n all, do you think you can do me a favor by coming with me tonight? I heard theres a big haul waiting." Louie tried to hide his exstatic facial expression. "Sure, but what the hell's a cray fish?" "Yanks." The man said. "You'll find out." He smiled.  
The man drove not too far to the nearest lake. Louis wondered if he should ask the man for his name, but he was rather intimidated and figured that if he hadn't already asked or the man hadn't said it himself that he shouldn't bother.  
After they stopped, Louis and the man got out of the truck. "Wow, a full moon tonight. I heard it makes people a bit crazy." They both laughed and walked towards the pier. "Nice boat you have here, man." Louis said. "Yup, her names Sally. Been fishin' for 30 some odd years." Louie could barely keep track of what was happening. Everything was moving so fast, but he needed some relief. They both stepped into the boat, and pulled out into the water. "There's gators out here at this time, son, be careful." Why did the man keep calling him son? He doesn't look that old...  
The moonlight was shining everywhere: on the water, the boat, the man's face. Louis studied the man as he was fishing, not doing much himself, and it was very sexy to Louis how much care and focus he put into his task. The aura of the sticky night and the man next to him made Louis feel good. The area between his thighs was warming up as he was entranced by watching the man work, unable to look away. The man finally caught a crayfish after God knows how many minutes of Louis staring, and when it landed into the boat was when the man turned to look at Louis' eyes trained on him, Louis making the expression he always made of bewilderment and curiosity. The man's illuminated smile appeared once again, and that smile crushed Louis as the man's lovely eyes that matched the hue of the lake scanned over Louis' body and finally down to his crotch.  
"Heh, seems like we're back to how it all started. I noticed you staring at me up on stage.." Louis said. The man quickly and confidenly responded, "well, I do like a man with a lil' extra.." Louis was taken in by the moment. Time seemed to have stopped, and as his thoughts started racing the man calmly uttered "how about you come stand over here and I'll show you how to use the net." Louis staggered over, the man stood behind him, wrapping his arms around Louis waist. "Now, you gotta bend over a bit and scan the bottom. That's where they like to hide." The mans words rushed past Louis ears, and his breath smelled like big red gum. Thats when it hit. Louis felt the inevitable pressure of the man touching his bottom.  
Louis stood still as the man made his advancements. The man leaned forward, right next to his ear, and whispered, "Yours are firm, boy. The way I like them." Louis replied, "Aha, thanks. I try," as the man's arms reached across again to unbutton his wholesome, blue jeans that cased the firm buttocks of the man's desires. His pants were slowly slid off by the man and were discarded into the corner of the boat. Louie began to turn around at this point. The man noticed and barked, "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" at which point Louis quickly turned around again. "Now then, let's see those breasts of yours, boy."  
Louis, now feeling open with the thought of going further with the man, slid his crisp, black T-shirt off. His breasts being unevenly plump fell out consecutively, and the mans eyes were wide with delight. The man took out a tube of lube from his back pocket, "I knew this would come in handy tonight," he said. The man lathered Louis breasts with the lube like a Thanksgiving turkey with butter before being put into the oven. This continues for nearly a minute until the man could tell Louis was growing bored, and grabbed Louis by the nuts. He leaned forward and whispered in Louis ear, "  
I've got myself a sock you can use as a blindfold if you fancy getting titfucked tonight. How about it?" Louis was a bit unsure if this was relevant to his interests and turned around to look him in the eyes and reply, which lead to the man twisting Louis' nipples and yelling "WHAT DID I JUST GOD DAMN SAY, KID?!" Louis yelped in pain and turned back to face the moon and lake again. "Jesus! I... can we just, you know... do the other stuff? I don't think I would like that very much."  
"Well, I am your biggest fan you know.. I guess I'd be right for you to have some fun too.." The man was finally making some sense. Louis thought about it and responded, "Ok, how about we switch positions. I'll close my eyes.." The man agreed and they eagerly switched spots. This was Louis first time ever taking another mans pants off, but he did it fluently. "This is much easier than taking a womans bra off.." Louie thought, "I could get used to this.." The man was wearing womens underwear, not too common for a man in Alabama, even if he was queer. This only added to Louis now building rage. Louis ripped the mans underwear down to his ankles, and pulled his own dick out. It was so full and stiff it looked like the banana he ate for breakfast this morning.  
Noticing the positions they were in, Louis said, "Hey... man, are you sure you don't wanna warm up first?" The man grunted and said, "I just want to get fucked raw. I ain't got time for any romantic 'blowies' or whatever you call that bull up north." "Whatever, man," Louis said. He didn't think he quite had it in him yet to suck off a man, anyway. He picked the bottle of lube and buttered up the man's pooper with great care. "You got a condom?" Louis asked. The man kicked upward with his hind legs, hitting Louis' penis and bruising it. "Are you some kind of lily little faggot? Bareback it, there ain't nothing wrong with either of us, I hope!" Recovering from the kick and fretting at the minimalistic amount of blood coming out near the bruise as induced by this male, Louis took the plunge and entered the volatile gentleman. He went in slowly, but the man pushed his butt toward Louie. Louie took this as a signal to increase his speed.  
It didn't take long before Louis could tell the man was near climax. His breaths became shorter, and his body more tense. Louis was worried that his blood could give the man some STD. Louis wasn't sure, but last years BJ in that cop car felt suspicious. Suddenly, as Louis mindless thrusts became quicker, he was quickly taken out of his day dream by the man stopping. This was it. The mans knees were stiff, and, because of his fragile age, he lost control of his own body... *SPLASH* The man had fallen into the water. Louis was both filled with pride and in shock at the same time. He wanted to dive in to rescue the man, but Louis CK, no matter how white he looked was mexican on the inside. And everyone knows mexicans cannot swim. The man was screaming for help. Louis instead grabbed the net and reached out towards the man. "Here, grab this!" The man with his weak arms could barely hold on. That's when Louis saw a shadow beneath the water.. the man, who had calmed down from Louis attempts of rescue, suddenly let out a shreik. The pale moonlight illuminated the blood now seaping into the water. He was dragged underneath by what Louis could only assume was an alligator.  
Louis looked over the edge of a boat for a few more minutes at where the man had been in the water. He was a goner, and there was nothing Louis could do about it. He eventually stood back up and noted the small amounts of his and the man's semen lying the floor of the boat. He paddled back to the dock by himself and walked away from the lake, leaving the truck there, and went back to the club. The strippers had left and the audience was either eating or talking amongst itself. No one was on stage because Louis' alotted time for his set was still not over yet, so Louis took his position at the microphone once again. This time, he had some new material fitting for a crowd of Alabamians.  
~THE END~


End file.
